Update on us 3/2/11

3 Mar

An early morning Botox consultation meant I couldn’t go with Graham the other morning.  The only appointment available at the time was at 8:00am all the way at Sunnyview!  (Ouch!)  All I had to do was ask sweetly, tilt my head and my dad was quick to volunteer and drove Graham down for me.  I stayed home with the boys and continued my normal routine while Graham and my dad met with the doctor to discuss the possibility of Botox injections into his arm.

It turns out Graham is a great candidate for this kind of thing (whatever that means) so we’ll be pursuing the injections.  I’m thinking I’d like to be there when they inject him and hope that maybe they can shoot me up with some around my eyes, mouth and forehead:0)  At only 28, I’m definitely seeing the affects of the stress and trauma this has caused on my body.  It’s not pretty.  Graham sees double you know, so that puts even more pressure on me to look nice because there’s two of me now!

At quick stop at the medical store produced a new and much more secure sling for Graham’s arm. Pictures to come soon.  He calls it “torture”, but I like to call it “healing.”  He’s a good sport and is following the doctor’s orders by wearing it at least one hour a day.  Watching TV while wearing it does not count!  He has to be doing stuff around the house (i.e. dishes, playing with kids, getting dressed) and he can’t escape this one as easily!

Graham and I are doing well.  I really mean that.  I still miss parts of him all the time and struggle with allowing myself to let them go.  I’ve had to realize some of his memories of our life are just plain gone.  I will always remember the memories I have with Graham and the special times.  It’s just hard sometimes when I’m the only one who remembers them.  I really do feel in ways I was given a new husband (not completely, but kind of) and there’s no other way to say it but “strange” and “hard” at times.  Some things he does and it’s so “him,” but there are many other things he does differently now.  I believe I’m finally at a place where I’m LOVING these new things and in a weird kind of way, I’m falling in love with Graham all over again.  Until you’re here, I don’t think you could totally understand what I’m saying, but it has nothing to do with that.  This is my story with Graham and although it’s playing out in front of so many, there are other “stories” being told and written all over the world, in your own life perhaps, that are hard, difficult, and hard to understand for anyone else.  The amazing part though, is that no one has to understand it, or relate to you in order to feel peace, joy, happiness and comfort.  I’m thankful that only One understands my story, and it’s okay with me.  It’s enough.  It’s actually perfect!

Miracle of the day:

Graham is thriving in the home therapy and we’re already seeing small improvements!  He’s getting slightly better at the guitar!  Not ready to play in public yet, but I have a feeling he’ll get there!  This is really encouraging for me!  I really wanted him to be able to do this again.

Humor of the day:

I got home late last night after babysitting and Graham of course was sleeping soundly.  He woke up when I got home and we chatted for a few minutes while I crawled into bed.  I asked him if I could “test” him and he agreed:

R-“I’m going to tell you a color and you have to tell me what it is first thing in the morning”


R-“The color is…..orange”

G-“orange!” “Ok got it!”  “Will you be BLUE if I forget it?”

R-“yes, I will be blue if you forget it.”

G-“What about pink?”

R-“Graham, you’re going to confuse yourself by saying all these other colors, you’re going to end up saying the wrong one tomorrow!” (laughing)

The next morning at 5:30 he must have woke up and I heard him saying “orange” in his sleep.  At 7:00 when he came in to wake me up, the first word he said was “orange.”

I told him I was proud of him and all he said was:

“I feel like I hardly have to do anything now and everyone’s proud of me!” :0)

Thanks for praying for us!




2 Responses to “Update on us 3/2/11”

  1. Dara March 4, 2011 at 4:06 am #

    ok first off… the botox thing for you… o brother. yes, i know us ladies tend to be pretty hard on ourselves about our appearance–but really Randi–you are BEAUTIFUL 🙂

    its so cool to see how content you strive to be, knowing that only One fully understands what you are going through…and you are ok with that. that is awesome! I have learned SO much from you, and thank you so much for updating & being honest about everything thats going on.

    ps-so glad you were not “blue” the next morning! 🙂

  2. Grannie March 5, 2011 at 11:10 pm #

    Thanks so much for another wonderful post! I think in HIS master plan, HE put you two together for just this reason. HE knew that you were the perfect team to deal with this battle and share it with (and inspire) others!

    I just love the positive attitudes that shine through you both.

    I’m enjoying the lessons you’re teaching me.


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