Update on Us 10-17-10

18 Oct

We have had one busy weekend here in “Stump world”. My brother Matt drove up from Indiana to see Graham and they have been busy hanging out. I’ll be honest, I haven’t seen much of Graham, but it’s alright with me as I know he’s in good hands. They have gotten some special time together that I am hoping Graham will remember. 

Even through all the fun times and great moments that are had here, I still continue to struggle with accepting how things are now for my little family and me. This may sound crazy, but I feel like I am in love with two people now. That “old Graham” who is slowly slipping from my memory but who I love very much is being replaced by this “new Graham” that I also love very much. It’s a constant struggle for me to accept, be patient, and trust the Lord right now. 

Sunday mornings were always a crazy time for us as we would ready for church and leave super early to practice music for the service. I haven’t touched a piano for 2 months, but last week was really feeling like it was time once again. I was torn a little about it because I knew Graham wouldn’t be alongside me this time. Our church has been blessed by many talented people who stepped up to do Graham’s job as worship leader and instrument players. They still needed a piano player, so I am once again trying to hash out some songs on the keys. This morning I left by myself to get there in time to practice and I’ll be honest, I was just plain sad/frustrated that Graham wasn’t there with me and serving too. As I was driving a song came on the radio that I have heard several times, but don’t know who sings it. One line in it says, “While I’m waiting, I will serve You, while I’m waiting, I will worship…..” Nothing can touch me quite like music, so of course the tears started up. 

In that moment of sadness, frustration, loneliness for the “old Graham” and tears, I had to make the decision to serve while I’m waiting on the Lord. Please don’t think I have my life all together, because it’s so not like that. There are more moments than I would like to admit where I give into the devil and let him bring my heart and attitude down. I worry, I weep, I lose my patience with Graham, I take things out on my kids and I am miserable at times. This quiet drive to church though was NOT one of those times! I did decide to serve the Lord even though it hurt so bad and was hard to do without Graham. 

Miracle of the day: 

I have been struggling with what to do about Graham’s therapy sessions. It’s almost an hour drive each way for him and I was feeling like “I could be doing this with him at home, why am I driving him here?” I took the weekend to think about it all and talk to some people. I ultimately want to do what’s best for Graham no matter how annoying it may be. I have decided to finish out his schedule and revaluate everything in one month. It’s a miracle to me because the Lord is taking care of everything for me even the decision side of it all. 

Humor of the day:

Graham cannot remember anything from the accident except what we’ve already told him. He doesn’t even remember learning how to rope and he can’t believe he was on Crockett doing it. He was telling someone the story and was doing well until he said: “It’s no wonder my horse fell and I went down with him, I was trying to rope a brahma bull!” A brahma bull is one of those really big bulls that have the humps on their back. I felt bad telling him it was just a tiny little cow that sent horse and rider to the ground. Oh well, maybe we can let him believe it was a big one! 

Please keep praying!

3 Responses to “Update on Us 10-17-10”

  1. Grannie October 18, 2010 at 6:03 pm #

    So good to get an update! Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I will be praying for patience and peace for you all – – and increased memory for your wonderful Cowboy!

    You’re doing a wonderful job!
    Grannie

  2. Cory October 19, 2010 at 1:15 am #

    Hi Randi,
    You don’t know me, but I’ve been following you on FB and praying for you guys. I was involved with WOLBI back in the 90’s. (It makes me sound old to say that, but I’m not that old!)
    I googled the song lyrics, because I’ve heard that song too and really like it. Wanted to let you know it is by John Waller, you can see here:
    http://www.johnwallermusic.com/index.php

    Keep going strong, you’re doing so well!

    Cory

  3. Barbara Fulforth October 25, 2010 at 8:21 pm #

    Couldn’t pull this up on Facebook but guess it came through on regular e-mail. It was dated 10/17 so there was no update on how you all are doing.

    Barbara Fulforth

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