Update on Us 9-24-10

25 Sep

I’ll be honest, I don’t really know how to say all that could be said for an update. There is so much running through my head that I could never get it all down here. Somehow I am able to be happy with Graham’s progress and at the same time weep on the ride home at how far he still has to go and how lonely I really am. At the same time that I’m able to pull myself together I am coming unraveled and frustrated at him with the whole situation. Patience has come to mean something totally different for me and much more than I ever could’ve imagined. I am still constantly running to the Lord for His strength, mercy and love. My husband cannot at this time fill ANY needs for me and although I know I need to be relying on the Lord for all those things all the time, I am guilty of depending on Graham too much for that security, love and support. The “having Graham” there with me should be so encouraging; he’s not dead, and I get to see him just about everyday, and I am SO thankful. It’s just extremely hard seeing him in this state of constant confusion and frustration. It’s like he’s so close, yet so far away!

Physically, Graham is doing exceptional! He is basically walking all on his own, can dress himself with minimal help, and is just doing such a great job. Yesterday they worked with him on learning how to carry kids “around the house”. It was a fake baby doll that had weights on it and he had to carry it all around. I missed that session, but would have loved to see Graham carrying a doll around the parking lot outside the hospital. I’m sure it was comical! 

Mentally, Graham is about the same, maybe a little better than the other day. He has become obsessed with what time it is, what’s going on after therapy and if he can call his dad again and again. His short-term memory continues to be a big problem and at times HE even seems to be frustrated about it. That makes two! You have to really prompt him as to what he just got done doing and sometimes he just makes stuff up. He also continues to be more emotional than he ever was before. He’ll be sobbing one minute and laughing really hard the next. Sometimes over things that really aren’t that funny or sad. I don’t know much about the brain, but I do know it controls your emotions. I’m pretty sure that part was affected in the accident. Hopefully it will iron out over time as well as everything else that is off. 

Miracle of the day: 

They were able to fully extend Graham’s left arm yesterday. That is a BIG deal for Graham. When he first got to Sunnyview his left arm was tucked nice and tight against his chest like a stroke victims sometimes is. There was no way of knowing if Graham’s arm would be able to extend and work again. His occupational therapist tried everything under the sun to get it back for him, and although I believe those things helped, I think the Lord knew how much Graham would need that arm to do the things he wanted with his boys and just his life. I watched him screw some bolts with his left hand yesterday and even though it took a while he WAS able to do it! Praise the Lord! 

Humor of the day: 

Graham is now officially on a normal diet. The therapist was all excited to tell me that he could now eat anything he wanted and drink anything as well. I secretly smiled to myself as I thought about how Graham has been eating any and everything for at least the past week! Don’t tell! 

Please keep praying! Graham will be coming home very soon, (I don’t want to give a date because it’s changed so much), but just pray for the adjustment time and continue to pray for his memory. Thank you again for all the meals (they have been SO nice), cards, money, and notes. I treasure each and every one!

4 Responses to “Update on Us 9-24-10”

  1. Donna Langman September 25, 2010 at 2:21 am #

    You are so right when you talk about patience! It is a test for you and Graham! Things will get better and time is on you side! We laugh about those crazy days now but when we were in them it was pretty hard times. Steve used to laugh uncontrollably if anyone talked about toilets or any of the things that go in them. Some of our friends still giggle when they talk about the fly poo conversation they had with Steve.
    The brain takes a very long time and you will get bits of Graham back as time passes. We found that the healing seemed to go in spurts where it would seem like not a lot was happening and then all of a sudden he could do things he couldn’t before or was talking more clearly. That is still happening and it has been 2 and a half years.
    I know exactly what you mean about being lonely. I used to miss Steve so much that my heart was breaking but now I have either learned to love the new Steve or he is closer to who he was, I don’t know. Just hang onto the hope that he will be back someday.
    Things will be hard when he first comes home. I completely forgot to pay all my monthly bills the first month he was home. It was like having another kid except Steve could barely stand all the chaos, which was really just us living life, and ran off to hide a lot. In a way it was pretty good therapy. All things that he finds hard and has to just deal with, I call therapy. 🙂
    You are doing great! Continue to be patient and loving and time will be your helper. God has many blessings in store.

  2. Tammy Roe September 27, 2010 at 12:53 am #

    Randi thanks for being so transparent as it helps me to know how to pray for you in a more specific way. Yes I pray for Graham, but I pray for you even more as you have just as many adjustments as he does. Stay strong and pure for that God will reward you.

    Former WOL Missionary

  3. Candi September 29, 2010 at 6:12 pm #

    As always you encourage me, and make me realize how much God is there for us when we need Him; when we have no one else. And patience as well, I am learning patience- though I am pretty good at it- I am still not good enough. I am still praying for you, Graham, and the boys. You are a great example of a godly, devoted, faithful wife. I wish I can be like you one day.
    love you!!

  4. Grannie October 1, 2010 at 7:13 pm #

    I know your hands and heart are so full and so busy right now. Just know that I’m still praying for you all – and hoping that your wishes and prayers all come true.

    Keep looking for those silver linings among the clouds – they ARE there . . . sometimes you just have to look harder!


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