Update on Us: 8/23/10

23 Aug

My days are now spent sitting in the car driving to Sunnyview, sitting in therapy sessions watching my husband struggle and then sitting in the car on the ride home. I was going to post this under the humor section, but nothing about this is funny to me. In short, I’m not getting any exercise! I’m usually very active but am now finding myself busy doing nothing but getting flabby. I am seriously thinking of talking to the PT’s (physical therapists) to see if I can get some help too. I may just have to get up extra early and start running or something; anyone who knows me knows that I don’t like to work out on purpose.

I have to admit that I am terrified today! I was with Graham all day, and have come to the conclusion that he’s past the point of dying from this. He is making improvements each day and sometimes that is all that gets me through, but man, is it frustrating. Watching him struggle with the once simple tasks that I’m sure he never even thought about are excruciating to be a part of. I’m told that what he’s doing is “very normal” and “all part of it”, but the question at the back of my mind constantly nagging at me is: “will he ever be Graham again?” He was more irritated today, which again I’m told is “good” and “normal”; I just didn’t realize that this would be part of what I was signing up for when I married him. Please don’t misunderstand me! I love Graham now more than I ever have and will be here for him through it all, but let’s be honest here, none of you want to be in my shoes right now and sure would never want to see your spouse in this kind of a state! I can’t help but have thoughts like this and scary ones of what he’ll be like in a year. I continually have to place each scary, struggling moment in the Lord’s hands! I have never had to depend on the Lord like this before, and isn’t that sad? Shouldn’t we all be depending on Him like I am right now ALL the time?!?!
I will continue to struggle with why the Lord did this, and feeling peace about my husbands future for many months to come I am sure! All I can say about it all, is that He HAS been faithful to me so far during this. Each time that I feel overwhelmed and just plain scared, He’s always there; holding me, comforting me, when no one else can (esp my husband right now!)

Prayer Requests:

1) Graham’s parents are coming in on Wednesday and are going to be needing housing in the Schenectedy area for at least the next several weeks. So, just that it will all work out and something will open up.

2) For continued progress in Graham. He got so sweaty today just trying to talk! They are very impressed with how hard he’s working, it’s just so sad!

3) For me! I am tired and today was a little scary because the Social worker told me to not expect him to be here much longer than 6 weeks! I was thinking more like 6 months! I’m not sure what that means. Whether they think he’ll be so great by then it’ll be no big deal, or if I’m going to have to do so much more with him at home. I just thought he’d walk out of there better, and I’m realizing that it will not be like that.

Humor of the day:

Well, besides me not getting any exercise the only funny thing was that Graham said: “What the piece of crap.” I didn’t have to edit it, that is what he said. I thought it was kind of cute, because they’ve been warning me that he’ll be swearing and saying all kinds of weird things. Nope, that sounds like Graham!

Miracle of the day:

Graham is progressing each day! He kicked a ball with both feet and is helping the therapists more with moving himself out of the bed to the wheelchair and to the wheelchair to the “working bench”. He brushed his teeth, and ate ice chips. He also had some applesauce. A big miracle is that his trache is officially out and he just seems more comfortable now!

Keep praying! I miss my husband!

8 Responses to “Update on Us: 8/23/10”

  1. Julie August 24, 2010 at 1:52 pm #

    Randi,

    You don’t know me, I went to school with Rick and Graham.
    Thank you for sharing so openly the reality of your world and the way that you are depending on God more than ever. Your honesty is a blessing to everyone reading this and an encouragement to me to pursue Christ more passionately.
    I will be specifically praying that they extend Graham’s time at Sunnyview and for nothing short of a miracle during his recovery. Please know that you are also being lifted up before God, that He will grant you more peace, strength, patience and comfort than ever before.

    Julie Gilham Witbeck

  2. Donna Langman August 24, 2010 at 7:31 pm #

    Hello Randi. God is in the line of miracles and my husband is one of them. Graham is doing wonderful by the sounds of it. My Steve didn’t do any of those things until after 2 months! He will continue to change every day and you won’t be able to find a new normal for quite some time. Keep looking to the future as there is a future. It is true that it is going to take a long time but time is on your side! If this was as good as it gets then time wouldn’t matter but he is going to get better and time is your friend! He still has time to get better! You are going to miss Graham, there is no doubt. He is still in there, but you will have to wait for him.
    Keeping you in our prayers,
    Donna

  3. Tommy stump August 24, 2010 at 11:53 pm #

    Hay graham it’s you little bro stop roping cows please or I will kik u in the shorts

  4. Jen August 24, 2010 at 11:55 pm #

    Randi,

    My name is Jen [french braid :)] and I cared for Graham in the SICU at Albany Med. Graham, you and your family are the very reason that I enjoy what I do. Have faith that Graham will be restored and you will live out the rest of your days as the loving dedicated couple that was so obvious to all of us that observed you both.

    I receieved the card you left for me and I was very touched by your kind words. It was a priviledge to care for Graham and to meet your family. I really admire the way you have conducted yourself with such grace and gratitude. You deserve all of the best that I know has yet to come.

    You all are in my prayers and thoughts. I will be checking in frequently for updates.

    Stay strong and God Bless You

    Jen Pritchard

  5. Tommy stump August 24, 2010 at 11:57 pm #

    Oh one more thing I love you and call me wen u can get to it and feel better see u in a few

  6. Sharon Faulkner August 25, 2010 at 2:12 am #

    Randi, The six weeks in Rehab is an average stay, you may want to learn all you can because most likely you will be taking him home sooner then you think possiable or feel comfortable with. However it will be a blessing to have him at home.
    My daughter Hannah has been home since Memorial day weekend, we have 16 hours of nursing care and ot, pt and st come to the home.
    I must say from what you are describing Graham is in the agiatated stage… it is a scarey stage but a good one. It means so much is healing a rewiring and I can promise you he won’t remember any of it.Or stay stuck.
    I am also a bit jealous of how fast he seems to be recovering… Hannah only crys and laughs on the exhale and I do miss her voice. However when she is signing for a drink constantly i am a bit glad she can’t talk. His kicking the ball is great.
    I want to encourage you to take breaks.. it will be harder once he is home to get away. It’s ok to walk out when it hurts to see them push him so hard. They resorted to ice to keep Hannah awake so they could do therapy for her. I walked out sometimes because it hurt to much.
    I understand about the whole exercise thing… I’m still trying to find a way to get back on track with that. Just a hint.. the coffees don’t help!:) he he
    Praying for continued strength from another TBI caregiver. Praying for God’s perfect time table.
    Thanks for your honesty, your testamoniy is touching many lives and I’ve said many of times in the last 5 months I wouldn’t trade the closeness I’ve felt from the Lord for anything. Blessings Sharon from PA

  7. Marg, Deane and Cameron Woods August 26, 2010 at 12:56 am #

    AUSTRALIA Today is the 26th august.We have been praying daily for YOU ALL, and as I read the over replies to you, it is wonderful to see people who have actually “been there” giving such helpful advice. We may be “Downunder” but never “down and out”. Love and constant prayers, The Woods family

  8. Candi August 26, 2010 at 2:38 am #

    Randi,
    I am praying for you, Graham, and the kids! I am sure it is a hard thing to go through. I just wanted to let you know I’m praying for you and hope Graham gets well soon. I know you miss him! And thanks for all your horsemanship help!

    Love you!
    Candi M. Hall

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