Update on us 8/15/10

15 Aug

I am home today with the boys just hanging out with them and enjoying my time with them. It is hard to see them at times because they look so much like Graham and remind me of him in how they walk, talk and play. I also have a hard time looking at pictures of Graham and seeing him all healthy looking, strong and determined! I am so thankful that I have those two little scrappy kids to look at and play with even though it’s hard.

I am getting more and more sad each day. I am slowly starting to realize how long this is going to be and my faith is constantly being tested. What’s so hard is that if I just knew that in a year I’d have him back, I could deal with it. But if in a year, I still don’t have my husband back??….I just can’t wrap my brain around that yet. That’s why I have to continually place those dreary moments and desperate times in the Lord’s hands. I am weary though, and am growing faint. Please keep praying for me!

My miracle for the day: I was told that Graham never even had MRSA. The Doctors are telling me that the test came back as a false positive. Both of my sisters made me think of it in a different light. What if Graham DID have MRSA and the Lord just decided to heal it? The Doctors of course can’t explain it, and I have to believe that the Lord will do the same with his brain. I’ll never know until I get to heaven if Graham really had MRSA or not. My point is that the Lord is still the Master Healer and He CAN heal Graham if He wants. That is what I am struggling with the most, Will He? Can He? Part of me so badly believes it, but when you are in this, it’s so different! My soul at times feels like it’s in a battle of belief and unbelief; trusting fully, and trusting just some of the time. I MUST trust completely, but it sure is hard!

He is completely off the vent, and can now begin the process of going to rehab. We will be going to Sunnyview, where I am praying that it will be there that he’ll break through this fog and come back to me!

The Lord has us in His hands and He has a plan for us, I just can’t see it yet!

4 Responses to “Update on us 8/15/10”

  1. Barbara Fulforth August 16, 2010 at 8:23 pm #

    Thinking of and praying for Graham and the entire family during these days of testing and the unknown concerning the future. Remember Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I am planning for you says the Lord; they are plans of blessing and not of calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Just think…..we go through the valley of the shadow of death but we don’t stay there!

    As secretary to Jack Wyrtzen for 28+ years, the VanderWiele family has been a part of my life.

    Randi, I will be praying for that “peace that passeth all understanding” that can only come through the comfort we receive from the Lord Jesus Christ.

    Praying and expecting a miracle.

    Barbara Fulforth
    Bradenton, Florida

  2. becky gray August 16, 2010 at 11:17 pm #

    Dear Randi,

    We are sisters in Christ, and I pray that the love of your family in Christ will bring joy and comfort to you. I pray for the Lord’s miracle for Graham, for the joy of the Lord to be your strength, and for Him to touch your heart in a special way.

    Becky (Lauren Gray’s mom)

  3. Anne Cox August 17, 2010 at 1:57 am #

    I am so crushed, but praying for you and your family all the day. I cannot imagine your fears, your dread, and your discouragement………but I do know that God will show up and do wonderful things in your life. I’ve been whre you are in a sense because of a son. God chose in His mercy to take him, but in the midst we trusted God still. My prayer is that you will so wrap yourself in Him, that you will know and feel His strength, His power, and His unimaginable Love. Our Gd is so big. Praying, Anne

  4. Sharon Faulkner August 17, 2010 at 2:54 am #

    Dear Randi,
    Having walked the path your walking less then 5 months ago, I will tell you the feelings and thoughts you are having are very “normal” and human.
    You wrote, that if only you knew what things would be like a year from now.I have been saying the same thing lately and it is concerning if we should or shouldn’t consider buying a wheel chair acessable van. If only I knew when Hannah could walk again. But then I think of all the joy I would have lost last year at this time if I would have know what was to come.
    God loves you very much and He will only give you the grace for the moment. I find myself most overwhelmed when I live out of that moment because I don’t have His grace.
    I wanted to encourage you to have people take pictures of Graham now, if you can’t take them yourself. I know it’s hard but they will bring you encouragement later. Not wanting to look at pics of before the accident is the way I felt too. However, I will encourage you to keep 1 picture of your family near his bedside, it helps the nurses in caring for him. Most ICU nurses don’t ever get to see their patients after they have healed.
    I am encouraged that Graham is breathing on his own that is so exciting and you will see great things happening when he is at rehab… rehab is all about healing and hope where as ICU is about surviving.
    Blessing from PA we are praying!!!

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