I love my Master. I will not go free.
It’s what I’m proclaiming today, this day that I finally get some time to post an update. It’s as the kids are scrambling here then there and I scramble eggs, butter toast and keep the 9 month old from walking into her death.
I will not go free.
I refuse to sit on this shelf of complacency, collecting dust like one of Wyatt’s old toys. I’ve been through too much. Come too far. We both have.
Yet, what I think should happen, or be, or come to fruition, is sometimes not what the Master thinks is best. And let’s be honest, at times we think we have Him figured out. His plan, His will, something to work for our benefit, our desires. Shouldn’t I get to hold the reins once in a while?
How could He want anything different?
Oh, but He does.
It’s His plans that are much more thought through, planned out than our own. I just have to trust Him. Take that step. Make that decision. Follow His lead in my life.
It sounds easy. So, why is it so hard for me? Why do I cry over things I think are gone forever? Things that I must grieve or give up?
It’s my selfishness. My pride. What I think I deserve that make my blood boil, my tears spill, my heart sink. And if I stay here in this awful place of self-pity, I will only ever be able to do one thing, the thing I hate most.
In His grace alone, His mercies never-ending like the steady flow of our brook behind our home, I am covered. I am satisfied. I am everything I need to be for Him. And I am blessed.
Miracle of the day:
Blessings come in all shapes and sizes. Some big. Some small. This one came at the perfect time for Graham and me. All this talk of trusting and walking in faith, putting our family first for a season, made us stop to shake our heads in awe. We were blown away at the Lord’s timing.
Our eldest son, Wyatt, having just turned 5 in January, asked His Lord and Savior to rule over his heart, his life.
It was an amazing thing to be a part of. The ritual of nightly devotions finally took a more serious turn and we all found ourselves on our knees, crying and listening to one of the most heart-felt prayers we’d heard in a while. It was precious. It was real. And the angels rejoiced.
The Holy Spirit entered my son that night and watching him these last days has made my jaw drop in the reality of His work in someone so small. My prayer now is for him to grow, stay this sensitive and move mountains with his faith.
Graham continues to do well. Another mighty miracle in his life is a recent eye appointment revealing a significant move in degrees of his left eye. The images are still doubled and probably always will be, but it’s better than it was. He’s back in glasses, which help push it all back together even more.
He’s a trooper. Never complains and continues to accept his limitations in stride.
Humor of the day:
I once again forgot about poor Graham over the holidays and before I knew it he was down 10 pounds. If I don’t keep up on his eating habits, he forgets (he still can’t feel when he’s hungry or full) and the weight melts like the chocolate I seemed to have downed in between all the parties and presents. Go figure!
Thank you for your continued support!
Update on the book: I am just about done with this beast and look forward to sharing it with you all. The Lord has taken me on quite the journey, teaching me much more than I thought possible about patience and His timing! Whatever happens….happens, and for me to be able to finally say that…is HUGE!