I have this spider plant that sits atop our tub looking out our unfinished window in our partially finished bathroom. He’s here because he seems to fit with all the other things screaming to be completed, begging for any kind of attention.
I’m embarrassed of him as he sits in his orange pot. His ugliness makes me ignore him most days, his shoots dying too easily or growing completely out of control. Sometimes I hope the sun will burn him beyond repair or that I’ll forget to pour that life giving water at him.
I look at him and cringe. I look at him and contemplate just pulling him out of that dark soil only to dump him in the trashcan. No one would miss him. No one would even know.
Still, something inside me makes me stop and I pick him up time after time, the water filling him with breath, life; his roots sucking to produce that natural green shade again. Once in a while he even gives me flowers to look at.
Lately, every time I see him, I see myself. This misfit of a plant with crusty leaves, an ugly pot and seemingly no purpose, is me. My attitude and biting words towards those I love most are those brown and crispy leaves. My desire for the time I feel I deserve as a mom, a wife, blocks my true purpose in life and I’m left sitting in an ugly orange pot. No flowers to show. Nothing worth even looking at.
But, Someone keeps showing up to water me. For some reason, I haven’t ended up in the trashcan. Not yet anyway. This water I get is just enough to fill my heart, my mind, my body with reason, truth and a desire to see it all to the end.
I may be sitting atop a tub. I may get scorched some days by the sun. I may even have more brown leaves than green. But I’m still here. I am truly and deeply loved and in return, I may even get some flowers to show for it all.
Spring is just starting to make her appearance here in the Adirondack Park and with all the new buds and growth come new buds and growth in my own life.
NO I’m NOT pregnant!
I’m selfishly going to ride my horse this summer and enjoy the 3 crazy kids I already have!
You may have noticed the page you are on has changed some. Please know that it’s still me. Still our story. I’ve only updated it to fit our life and where it’s at right now. I hope you like it and will poke around some to see what’s in store.
Please pray with me as I ready to embark on something I know the Lord has planned out perfectly, I just don’t know any of the outcome or details. All I have some days is my faith and trust in Him. But even that I can’t count as my own.
New life is here. It chirps and warms my soul!
Thank you for your faithfulness in journeying with me in this crazy ride I’m on!